<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Bus by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29111022">The Bus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, Illnesses, M/M, Sunsets, happy ending kinda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:54:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29111022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A stranger meets a stranger on a bus.</p><p>They become friends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Bus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>The Bus</b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The soft smell of summer, the smell of lavender, the smell of suntan lotion and freshly cut grass. The sun was rising, even though it was only 5 in the morning. Bokuto was impatiently sweating from the early morning heat, and probably also because he was kinda nervous. It was his first day of college. He had just spent the entire summer on the beach playing volleyball. Now it was back to reality. Small stones creaked under the bus, that was now stopping in front of the tall volleyball player. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus was crowded, normally it wouldn’t bother him, because he likes being surrounded. Just not today, he is alone today for the first time since high school. He hates being alone or abandoned, but he loves being admired and praised.  The bus was filled from bottom to top with both elderly and students, mostly students. He desperately searched for a seat, but unfortunately, all seats were taken. Except one..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the back of the bus, a girl was sitting alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto tried contacting her “ Is this seat taken?” He said. No reply. She just continued staring out the window. She looked so stressed and wasted. Maybe she just didn’t want to sit next to a sweaty male stranger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly the bus braked. Which made Bokuto almost fall all the way down the bus, but Bokuto's fast reflexes grabbed onto the seat next to him. This resulted in a lot of staring. This was the kind of attention Bokuto didn’t like, even though people were looking at him peacefully, he felt alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even the girl was staring at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span> Bokuto realized that </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn’t a girl, but actually a male. A male with the most innocent expression on his face.  HUGE saggy eye bags. He had beautiful blue teal eyes that from a distance probably would look black or dark brown.. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto cringed at his stupidity, how could he think that a boy with short thick wavy hair, and hairy muscular legs was a girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been staring at the boy for some time now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In silence without even saying a single word, the boy on the seat removed his bag, from the vacant seat next to him. Bokuto sat down next to him. It was awkward.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The dark-haired boy was once again staring out the window, and Bokuto got a sudden urge to ask him what he was thinking about, just to realize it would probably be weird if he did. He really wanted to get to know this mysterious boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you listening to”?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>complete silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> But that didn't stop Bokuto's curiosity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “What are y-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> The boy turned his face towards Bokuto. Making deep eye-contact. “Wow, you're like, really pretty,” Bokuto said, totally regretting his comment. The stranger stared at Bokuto for way too long, but also way too little. After a while, the boy pulled his phone up, in front of Bokuto’s eyes, on the lit screen, it said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Masterpiece</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> The dark-haired boy had shown Bokuto the music he was listening to, without saying a  single word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I DONT KNOW MA-” he was yelling, he realized-”,ny English songs, so i don’t know that one either, is it a good one”? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> The boy had turned his entire body towards Bokuto. giving him a small soft smile. Immediately Bokuto smiled back. The biggest and brightest smile he could pull. Without answering Bokutos question, the boy gave Bokuto one of his earbuds. And without hesitation Bokuto took the earbud toward his ear. first the wrong one, but he quickly corrected it. The music started playing. Bokutos entire body relaxed, by the quiet song with foreign words that rimmed, and he completely forgot about all his worries from earlier. it was a good song, and when it ended a new one began. Different melody, but still really good. It was strange and weird to share music with a stranger, but this didn’t feel weird or cringe. It felt right. And Bokuto allowed himself to relax and melt into his seat, guided by the music playing in his right ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was so relaxed that he forgot to press the stop bottom at his stop. luckily somebody else did, and he hurried up and out. He didn’t even get to talk to the stranger that day.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day when Bokuto got on the bus it wasn’t as crowded, as the day before. The boy was sitting on the exact same seat as the day before. His gaze was turned towards the window. Bokuto really wanted to sit with him, and this time maybe even learn his name. “Bokuto”  Someone yelled, from the farthest back of the bus. It was his senpai, Nakamura. Even though it was only his second day of his first semester. And he met Nakamura for the first time yesterday. Bokuto already considered Him a friend. So with a little hesitation Bokuto started walking towards Nakamura’s seat. When he walked past the dark-haired boy, they both made eye contact with each other. If Bokuto had stopped in front of the boy’s seat, he would probably have been allowed to sit next to him again. but he didn't. He walked past the boy and chose to sit next to Nakamura.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nakamura was a funny man, he shared the same type of humor as Bokuto. It was nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nice to already have a friend, somebody who he can trust, someone who has his back when he gets flighty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>                                                                           -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they arrived at the school, Bokuto met his team for the first time. He has already met Nakamura, and Nakamura has told him a lot about the team and their past competitions on the bus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meeting the boys wasn't bad at all. They were all kind and talkative. A few of his teammates already knew Bokuto, because of the attention he received from the media when he played at Fukurodani. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>For a few months, Bokuto sat with Nakamura on the bus. It was amazing, he loved volleyball and his new school. He loved how he came home late every day completely wrecked and unable to stand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                                                                        -</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto had been sitting with Nakamura so much, so when Nakamura texted the team that he was sick, Bokuto didn't even realize until he was on the bus that this meant he was alone again. He really hated being alone on the bus, it was boring and deserted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>especially today the bus wasn't crowded like it was on the first day of school. It had maybe 14 passengers, and they were all sitting by themselves, making the rumble from the busses engine the only existing noise in the almost vacant bus. Bokuto was about to sit down for himself, but he didn't….Because he made eye contact with a syrden person. The volleyball player didn't believe his eyes at first but soon realized that the boy staring back at him, was the guy from his first day. The guy who used to have beautiful curly dark hair, but instead of beautiful curls, his hair was a mess, it was greasy and had grown a little, the curls looked dead. Also, his face was pale, and his already huge eyebags had grown at least 3x which made Bokuto feel tired just by looking at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto walked down towards the boy. He swung his body towards the empty seat and sat down. It took a while before he realized his abnormal behavior. Is it weird to sit down next to a stranger that you have never had a real conversation with? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“U-uu-mh hey” Bokuto almost whispered to himself. He waited for a reply from the stranger, but it was silent just like last time. The stranger had turned his gaze towards the window just like last time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you still listen to the same music?” Bokuto had waited a long time to sit next to the stranger again, and he had so many questions to ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>”Kinda”.- An angelic calm raspy voice had spoken next to him. Bokuto choked out loud to the sound of the other boy's voice.  He blushed.. It warmed Bokuto's body that the stranger remembered him. Or maybe the stranger was just being kind?</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Last time he seemed so unbothered by Bokuto's presence, so he really thought that he had already forgotten him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you can talk, '' Bokuto said with a grin on his face. The boy next to him nodded with a slight blush on his face while avoiding Bokuto's eyes. “Sorry” Bokuto said when he realized how rude his comment had been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> he really didn't mean to make him embarrassed or offend him in any way. “Keiji Akaashi '' The boy said, interrupting the silence.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made eye contact again. “Koutaro Bokuto '' They both smiled at each other. “What are you listening to”? Akaashi, the volleyball player, loved that name, it was cute. Akaashi was listening to music, just like last time. And Bokuto wondered if his music taste had changed. So he pointed at Akaashis phone, and just like last time without answering, Akaashi offered Bokuto his earbud, which Bokuto gladly accepted. The song began playing, and it felt just as magical as last time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning Akaashi wasn't with the bus, or the day after that, or the whole week after that. God, he seemed so cool, and calm, and the volleyball player was annoyed by Akaashi's lack of presence.  On top of that, he didn't have time to worry about Akaashi. Because he had to worry about the pressure of pressuring his professional volleyball career. A professional volleyball team had already contacted him, offering him to start playing for them,and drop out of college. His mom had not supported the idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned while walking towards the bus a day. It was dark outside, and he had just finished volleyball practice, he didn't know if it was dark because it was late, or if the winter had arrived way too early. The early darkness still was still unsatisfying leaving everybody, just a bit more tired, and depressed. After 3 weeks Bokuto finally saw him again as Akaashi walked onto the bus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He struggled to get to the seat, next to Bokuto, he smiled at Bokuto, and sat down next to him. It made Bokuto so so so sooo happy that Akaashi voluntarily sat next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> It was quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto had never been the most intelligent, actually, he had been told so many times that volleyball and being tall, was his only skill. But he knew exactly what Akaashi had been doing for the past 3 weeks. You don't have to be a genius to figure out what he had been doing. He didn't even let his curiosity take over this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Akaashi what's your favorite color”.. Bokutos question somehow made Akaashi laugh. A light burbly laugh. “What?” Bokuto smiled. “Nothing, Bokuto'' Akaashi smiled. The eye contact they were making was almost magical. It took a while before the younger male answered, “Brown'' Akaashi said while fiddling with his fingers. “Brown''? Bokuto had already forgotten his own question. “Oh”.. “That's a cool color, “I like yellow, it's such a nice color, and also my eyes are kinda yellow whic-” He stopped himself from talking. instead, he just locked eyes with Akaashi again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Do you like volleyball?” Akaashi said, breaking the comfortable silence. Bokuto's face lit up.” Volleyball”- He was grabbing Akaashi's shoulder and looking at the younger male-''how did you know!!!” His shouting and the sudden contact made Akaashi flench. “Sorry” he mumbles while lowering his head and making a sad pout. Bokutos knows he can sometimes be a little too expressive, and noisy. “Don't worry, I don't mind Bokuto-san, also you have a volleyball between your legs' ' Bokuto made an understanding sound still embarrassed by his actions ``I used to play too”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They talked non-stop for the rest of the bus ride. (Mostly Bokuto) It wasn't awkward at all, Bokuto had gotten a new friend today. Someone awesome, because Akaashi loves volleyball too, and he has a beautiful smile, even though it's not as expressive as he wanted, but that just makes his smile a thousand times more precious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The very same night Bokuto had a dream. On a beach somewhere in the ocean, on a tropical island. A male toddler with white bleached hair styled in spikes was staring towards a big green forest filled with all kinds of plants, from outside it looked scary, yet beautiful. Behind him were the cyan blue ocean and crystal white beach, waiting for him to play in. And he did. He played all day, at the beach in the sun,  with his friends and family, both people from his childhood but also people he had just met in college.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stayed on the beach ignoring the jungle behind him. He didn't want to go inside, ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>suddenly a young man appeared. “ Where are you going” The white-haired boy from the beach whined, grabbing the young man's wrist, clearly not wanting the young man to leave. The young man smiled the softest smile, while the setting sun's orange color reflected onto his pale fragile skin. He replied, “ I'm going to explore the jungle Bokuto-san '' his voice was so sad he didn't even care to hide it. ''I- I'm coming too then”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No” The young man kept his smile. “Please Akaashi” The boy shouted at the young man. “One day you will, but for now stay here and play among those who love you- he paused trying so hard to smile-” That's all i could ever wish for”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I will be waiting for you”</span>
  </em>
  <span> The young man waved with a soft fake smile towards Bokuto, while slowly walking towards the big green jungle.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto woke up ignoring the dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto joined Akaashi on the bus. They sat together in silence listening to Akaashis music, and since it actually was winter, it was pitch dark outside. “Akaashi come play volleyball with me today”. '' Bokuto said. Akaashi didn't reply, not until at least 3 minutes later where he clicked his tongue and quietly replied with  “Sure”  Bokuto just smiled and hugged Akaashi. “See you later” Bokuto yelled at Akashi, while Bokuto got off at his stop, and Akaashi replied with a small nod.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That day Akaashi met with bokuto at Bokuto's school.  Bokutos was waiting inside the gym for Akaashi to arrive. “AKAASHI” Bokuto shouted across the gym when Akaashi entered the building. Bokuto immediately ran towards the curly-haired boy. “Hello Bokuto-san”. “Ohh tch, you can drop the formalities' Bokuto said with a slight smile on his face. “Do you want to come practice spikes for a bit”.. “Okay”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun had disappeared hours ago, but they still kept playing. And every time Bokuto spiked the ball, he turned around to get Akaaish approval.”You’re really talented Bokuto-san” Akaashi had said after the very first spike, which he had been forced to say again after each and every spike, for the rest of the evening. They eventually had to stop, not because they wanted to, but because Akaashi looked like he was dying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, they both just laid flat on the gym floor, dripping in their own sweat. “you’re my favorite setter Akaashi''. Bokuto said, turning his head towards the younger male and smiled. Akaashi was still breathing heavily. He managed to mimic </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks,</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his mouth. They stayed like that before they both decided to take the bus back home. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They started playing together every Wednesday and Thursday after Bokuto's official practice. Akaashi came every time, and they played until they both were laying on the gym-floor gasping for air. Akaashi was always the first one to give in. Which Bokuto accepted every time with no problem. He didn't really care if they played or not, he just liked being with his new friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One day on their way home after practicing together. Bokuto was talking like he always did, and akaashi was listening quietly next to him like they always did after practice. This was their unbreakable routine. And they both absolutely loved it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span> “Bokuto I'm sick”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It went completely silent. Bokuto, the talkative boy had stopped talking completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his face towards the young boy. With a slight grin on his face, clearly, a forced expressing </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know Kaashi” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They locked eyes. Akaashis eyes were sad, they weren't shining like they used to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto probably didn't look that happy either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you kno-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi I'm not that stupid”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus rolled onto Bokuto's street. He went off the bus, while waving towards Akaashi with a big smile like he always did.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He had known for a long time that Akaashi wasn't healthy. Whenever Akaashi “disepareas” for a week or days, he always comes back a few kgs lighter.  Bokuto barely gets tired when they practice, he just pretends so Akaashi doesn't push himself, but deep inside he prayed that it was just an assumption, that in reality, Akaashi was healthy, He hated Akaashi for telling him, because that means it wasn't some twisted fantasy, but it wasn't like that anymore, now his sickness was confirmed, by Akaashi himself.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning Akaashi wasnt on the bus, and he didn't come to play with Bokuto after school. It went on for that for over a month, no sign of Akaashi even being alive. “you need to focus, Bokuto.”  said Murita, the team's captain. “Yeah, you are acting weird”. this time it was Nakamura talking. Of course, I'm acting weird, my friend is suffering and there's nothing I can do, Bokuto thought. “Just go home for the day, and relax a little,” The captain said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On his way home Bokuto did like he always did, he took the bus, just not the one heading home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was sleeping, while the sun was setting behind him. Akaashi pale skin had gotten grey and  lifeless, he used to reflect in the orange sunshine, but now his skin was desperately trying to observe the little amount of sunlight, it got from the setting sun behind the hospital window. Bokuto knew that it was going downhill, Akaashi could only set a few balls yesterday until  they had to stop and call it a day. Bokuto hated Akaashi for letting him ruin him. Why didn't he tell him that he couldn't play? Why did a sick person insist on playing an athletic sport, just to help a friend practice? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun was completely gone by now. Only darkness. Akaashi opened his eyes….They made eye contact…. Bokuto didn't even feel embarrassed even though he had come unwelcome and watched Akaashi sleep. “Hey hey hey”. Bokuto smiled. “H-i”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you would be here, the lady downstairs, told me it was okay to visit”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>………………</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi barely kept his eyes open, clearly struggling to act like he wasn't dying. Bokuto watched Akaashi fight with every breath he took. And all the many tubes attached to his tiny skinny body. Akaashi had lost so much muscle mass. It was scary. Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s hand, holding it tightly. It somehow helped Akaashi concentrate on breathing easier.  “w-why?”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “s-sorry Akaashi, i didn't mean  to touch you, i-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No why did you befriend me, if you knew”? Akaashi sounded so angry. Bokuto didn't like the tone Akaashi was speaking in. But he couldn't feel triggered by the sudden change in his tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-What do you mean, i didn't know anything”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>- You said that day you knew” There was a slight grease in between Akaashi eyebrows making him look annoyed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This exact feeling was the one Bokuto shun, he hated feeling like this. Feeling vulnerable like a gazelle on the savannah being watched by the hungry lions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-Akaashi, I just like hanging out with you”-he said as serious as he could-”, you have such a cool music taste, and I always calmdownwhenwetalk.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-So you want to be friends with me, even though I'm going to let you down”?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-yeah, of course, if you want to be my friend though”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-it would  be an honor Bokuto-san-, to proceed growing our friendship” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the rest of the evening, they just listened to music, Akaashis songs, those amazing foreign songs that he always listened to. They said nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please come visit another time”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>                                                              And so he did</b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>One day he was on his way to the hospital, it was early, it was way too early, and the bus was crowded. Lost in his own thoughts  a stranger had grabbed onto his seat. It was a funny-looking man, with weird hair that was dyed and reminded him of a great horned owl. The man was beaming with energy, already this early in the morning. Akaashi was jealous. He hadn't felt motivated or even the lightest energized in months, still, the stranger sat down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi started taking the bus early after that day. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It was late spring.  Akaashi, a 3rd year in high school, had missed a whole year being ill. He was diagnosed in the spring of last year. It had ruined so much for him, ever since he started being sick, his mom had been overprotective. Of course, she was overprotective, it was her duty as a mother. His teammates and friends had all reacted differently. Some took it really nice while others started crying faces full of tears. It all ended with Akaashi cutting off all ties with his friends, tired of everyone feeling pity around him. Akaashi wasn't like that, he was strong, and it bothered him , when people didn't see that side of him.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>This was his longest stay in the hospital, 5 months. The winter had melted away outside his hospital window, and the spring was now blooming. The 5 months of being forced to relax, had finally come to an end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>From Ko:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I TOTALLY HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE NOw!!!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Congratulations Bokuto-san</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> From Ko:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i'm so excited!!!! </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span> From Ko:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>do you want to come to my house and celebrate on friday?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That  sounds lovely, thank you</span>
</p><p>
  <span> From Ko: </span>
</p><p>
  <span>COOL, I WILL TEXT YOU THE ADDRESS LATER CYA:D</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi went to Bokuto's house Friday evening. When he rang the door a tall woman with the same crazy golden eyes stood staring at him. “You are Koutarou’s friend, right '' She said it like it was a command. Akaashi avoided her eyes, though she was extremely beautiful, and looked a lot like Bokuto </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes i am”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”OMG YOU'RE SO CUTE IMHISSISTERAnDBOKUTOALWAYSTALKSABOUTYOUIMSOEXCITEDTOMEETYOU” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HEY HEY HEY” Bokuto says behind Akaashi. Apparently Bokuto had only just finished practice. The lady in the door makes a disappointed face “Little Brother can't you see i'm talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noe”...............” Cmon Kaashi let's go inside”  Akaashi is confused, but he somehow manages to end up inside Bokuto's room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That woman was your sister?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, did she bother you? i swear if she said something stupid...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I'm just surprised she just as thunderous as you”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don't say that” Bokuto says while throwing the bag he was holding towards Keiji, who tries to catch, but just ends up losing his balance and falls.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Omg, I'm soooo sorry Akaashi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both lock eyes for a few seconds and end up bursting out in laughter at the same time. And every time they try to stop, they look at each other and start laughing hysterically all over again.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed seeing you like this,” Bokuto said, interrupting their giggles. “I mean you know, out of that awful hospital gown, it didn't suit you”  Bokuto was grinning. Akaashi likes being with Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had this crazy chaotic energy. But no matter how quiet or awkward things got between them, then Bokuto would always be a beaming ray of energy, like a star that would one day outshine everyone who had ever doubted him. Akaashi was jealous, but also an admirer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The evening went on as a casual teenage boy hangout. They ate dinner with Bokuto's loud family of owls and then went back to Bokuto's room just to play video games for 2 hours straight. At some point Bokuto wanted to go for a walk, and how could Akaashi say no to those puppy eyes of his new best friend?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They went outside, and suddenly the realization of how shitty he was actually feeling hit him. The nausea and the dizziness hit him like a rock to the face. But looking at how Bokuto was enjoying himself made him regret ever wanting to go back inside. They sat down on a bench just outside of Bokuto's house, and they talked for so long that Akaashi almost passed out from exhaustion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked at the many missed calls from his mother. Instead of answering them, he just turned his phone off and turned towards Bokuto “Can i stay for the night” Bokuto looked up at Akaashi with a cheerful look in his eyes. “Oh-of course you can!!!”- “But is your mother okay with that, and d-do you have your meds?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of sleeping on a futon next to Bokuto's bed, Bokuto insisted on Akaashi sleeping on his “huuuuuuge bed”. It was a huge bed. They laid in the same bed, but there was still an arms distance between them. Bokuto was lying with his phone, sweeping through different types of sites,  giggling and sometimes bursting out laughing immediately showing Akaashi whenever he saw something funny. He put his phone down and turned towards Keiji “I'm sorry, am i being boring”.”No”, Bokuto smiles genuine smile “c’mere, and watch with me, it's really funny” Akaashi moved in closer towards Bokuto. And Bokuto scooped Akaashi towards his chest placing his arm behindAkaashi, lying close together. Akaashi could feel Bokuto's torso expanding, while breathing. Bokuto helt his phone in the middle, so both boys could watch the video he had put on. Akaashi Didn't really pay attention to the screen. All he could think about was Bokuto's huge bulgy muscles holding him close, and how soft his skin felt like on his back. This is gay tho? he thought. Bokutos straight, does he not know how this would look like to everyone else? But Akaashi didn't complain. He loved Bokuto's heat. He couldn't help but to  smile, at Bokuto's innocence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fell asleep like that but woke up separated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GOD Keiji where have you been”?  His mom was angry. He kinda understood her pain. But it's been so long since he has hung out with anyone. “I was so worried”, “I'm sorry” Keiji's eyes felt heavy, and soon he started crying. “I'm sorry”. he repeated.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was recovering and he could maybe someday go back to normal. The normal life he had a long time ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A week later Bokuto invited Akaashi to the park.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gladly accepted.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like flowers Akaashi? i mean of course, you do, i- it just there's so many” Bokuto said excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't a lie. They stood in a field of </span>
  <span>hyacinths. It's rare to see so many untouched flowers in a public park. It was like a sign. A sign telling them that whatever they had was special. Like their friendship was supposed to bloom like the field of hyacinths in front of them. But Akaashi knew that it's only a matter of time before Bokuto grows closer to Akaashi and realizes just how boring he really is. But for now he will enjoy the amount of time he gets to spend with him.  “ THIS IS SO COOOOL” Bokuto spun a few times around himself, and like always he was just beaming with energy, and Akaashi felt like he was charging whenever he was with him. “Let's go get something to eat. Bokuto-san” Bokuto kept staring at the flowers. Akaashi knew that whatever friendship he had with Bokuto, would never fulfill him. He wanted more from Bokuto.  He wanted so much more than a simple friendship. But that wasn't available for him in this life. Bokuto was always talking about girls whenever they saw a cute one. Girl with big tiddies,  girl with small tiddies, girls with long hair and beautiful smiles.  Always talking about girls was like a clear sign of an early nonexisting rejection. Akaashi wasn't even gay or anything, he just really liked thinking about Bokuto. Strong arms, broad shoulders and a beautiful charming personality, sometimes he could be way too loud, but that didn't bother Akaashi as long as it was Bokuto. Bokuto, the boy who sat next to him on the bus, the one who appreciated every minute they had spent together. Whenever they were together Akaashi caught himself multiple times, in forgetting to overthink, and simply just relax.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi LOOK, that frog kind of looks like you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>God, he was in love with that dork.</em>
  </b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ko, you are going to injure yourself,” Nakamura said as he was leaving the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't worry, I'm almost finished” That was a lie. He knew overtraining was bad and unnecessary for him. But he was feeling so happy lately. He had gotten an amazing new friend, he was the new ace of the team, also Akaashi and he was spending a lot of time together. It was great.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By now, he was in his second year of college, he had spent his entire summer vacation like he usually does, playing volleyball, eating. Different from the other summers, this year he was together with Akaashi like every single day. They were inseparable. Almost at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi had been following Bokuto around all summer, all of Bokuto's friends had already met </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Amazing Akaashi</span>
  </em>
  <span> by now. But on those quiet days, Akaashi was feeling down, Bokuto would simply just come to visit. Sit by Akaashis side, and talk. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like they always did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But faith is a funny thing they say. Akaashi and Bokuto were supposed to grow up together, get girlfriends and keep on being best friends till the day they die. That was never going to happen. They were supposed to play on the beach together, and explore the jungle together when the time was right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>one early morning at the beginning of September, Bokuto gets a call from an unknown caller. “Hello  Bokuto-san”- There was a short pause on the other side of the line.-”, this is Keijis mother. I'm calling to let you know my son just got”- Another short and fragile moment of silence.-`in the hospital again, i just wanted to let you know, since you're always together and--'' Boktuo had dropped his phone no longer paying attention to Akaashi’s mother. Akaashi was fine just yesterday, he was even beginning to gain weight again. He barely had any greyness to his skin and also his eye bags weren't that bad any longer..”Hello, umh are you there” Bokuto picks up the phone to answer, but his tongue is falling on him, no words seem to come out. “I'm i- I'm sorry, Miss, you are probably real-'' he didn't get to finish his sentence because of the bubble inside of his throat twisting. Tears were falling down his cheeks. Bokuto never cries, why is he crying now? “I'm so sorry” he takes a deep breath “ Thanks for letting me know'' He's about to hang up but,  the voice on the other end of the line speaks.  “He's going to be okay, you know that Keiji might be weak and already beaten, but he's not gonna give up, you know that he just needs our support, and just like last time, he will be healthy and back to normal in no time” They both knew that was a lie, it obviously,  judging by the tone in her voice, that she was trying to convince herself, what she was telling Bokuto was the truth. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The mood in the hospital room was the worst he had ever experienced visiting Akaashi. Akaashi was laying on the bed with closed eyes and an open mouth. His lips were dry and wrinkly. And his skin had an almost blue greyish tone. He looked like he had just played a role in a horror movie as the victim, who got dumped into the cold frozen lake. It was quiet in the room. The only sound was the troubled breathing from Akaashi, it looked so painful and there was nothing Bokuto could do to make Akaashi feel better. “Excuse me you need to leave, he isn't allowed to have visitors yet”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I know but cant you spare this one-time” Bokuto whispered, throat dry and eyes red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse repeated herself with a more firm and annoying voice. “I know, please let me stay,”  Bokuto begged, still looking at Akaashi next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir i need you out now, or I'm gonna call assistance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I'm not leaving,” Bokuto whispered, still not looking at the woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse grabbed Bokuto’s wrist in an attempt to yank him out of his seat. Bokuto violently shook her off of him.  “That's it, I'm calling the- '' Bokuto grabbed his jacket and ran out the door. He was feeling so down. He felt like his heart was turning blue inside of him like it was slowly running out of oxygen and he coulndt breathe. All he wanted was for Akaashi to stop being such a piss baby and just get healthy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't that easy.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Akashi said</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey” Boktuo had his usual sad face on. Whenever he was sad his entire body would show it, even his hair would bend in grief. “Are you okay?” Akaashi said staring at Bokuto. Bokuto smiled-</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “What are you talking about, I'm the one who is supposed to ask you that” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto is sitting next to Akaashi. He visits every day after practice. Sometimes they just sit and talk, while other times like today he's doing his homework. That Akaashi helps him with, especially math. They both hate math, but Akaashi actually knows how to solve the unreadable equations on the paper, while Bokuto just writes a random number and skips onto the next question. Bokuto is quiet today, you can see that he's thinking. He's so lost in thought. It's a rare sight seeing him this concentrated on things other than volleyball “ASKING FOR A FRIEND, but how do bees make honey, does it like come out of their tiddies?” Akaashis starts laughing. “WHAT, please it's for a friend” Akaashi takes a deep breath “No they have honey in their breasts”. He jokes “Okay, also how do you divide fractions?” Akaashi holds a laugh back.” Is that also a friend asking” Bokuto looks confused at Akaashi “No A-dog it's my homework, silly,” He says while sarcastically giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the end of september Akaashi is back to normal. He was still hospitalized. But he can now take small walks with Bokuto. “I hate that summer is over. I CANT SURVIVE WINTER AKAASHI, It's COLD-and depressing”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Hey Kaashi, I wondered if you wanted to do something fun before the good weather disappears?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't know, but something.. special”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The beach”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“THE  beach?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah, the beach”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And do what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was fidgeting with his fingers, looking up at the ceiling, avoiding Bokuto's eyes. “talk, grill, swim anything” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will that be special to you?” The boys had spent the entire summer at the beach. They had already grilled, and they had already swum. They even played beachvolley. (Only when Akaashi was feeling like it) So it  seemed a bit boring to go to the beach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything for you Akaashi”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day they sneaked out of the hospital to go for a “walk”.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let's settle down here” Bokutos shouts, making a lot of people glare at him. But he didn't care about the unnecessary attention, even though the beach is way too crowded compared to it's almost October. Today he was with Akaashi, and today's goal is to please him and make him remember this day forever. He had even begged his mom to borrow her car so he could impress Akaashi. And he had picked up Akaashi from the hospital, gaining suspicious looks from the nurse.</span>
</p><p>----</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we go swimming, pretty please” Akaashi didn't even have time to settle before Bokuto was already dragging him towards the water. Akaashi  throws his bag and lets Bokuto drag him by his wrist and run towards the water. They leave their items abandoned on the beach and completely forget about time. Akaashi didn't actually get into the water  the same way Bokuto did. Bokuto were not like most people his age. He had already asked Akaashi in the car which type of merman he wanted to be and if they were going to build a castle. So instead of actually swimming, Akaashi just watched the white-haired male jump around in the water, almost electrifying those in the water with him, with his amazing electrical personality that he carries around all day, and even when he's sad, he never stops being amazing and outgoing. On top of that, his new best friend has the godliest looking body, with wide shoulders and big arms. Arms that could probably pin Akaashi against a wall and his hair is just asking to be pulled and ruined by his hand, running his hand against his spikes and messing it up. Akaashi watches as Bokuto jumps from the dock into the water as his thigh muscles flex. Those huge thighs sculpted by an ancient sculpture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>----                                                               </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi if you are cold, it's important you tell me okay” with that said, Bokuto lets Akaashi go back to the beach to rest for a bit “BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S YOU, AND i want you to have fun and relax,” Bokuto says as he watches Akaashi stand awkwardly in the water still with dry hair and blue lips. Akaashis body is lean and skinny, anyone with a brain can see the malnutrition on Akaashis body. And every time he sees the way Akaashis body flinches or trips, his heartaches. The way he stands looks awkward and frightened, like he is waiting for a predator to come and grab him, and drag him into the water, never to see the surface ever again. still, Bokuto cant help to think that Akaashi is beautiful, beautiful in ways girls can’t be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the sun was setting the two boys found themselves sitting on the edge of the dock with their feet in the water. Bokuto was talking about a childhood memory, and like always, Akaashi was sitting next to him listening to him talk. Suddenly without warning Akaashi glides off the dock. He disappears for a few seconds under the water and comes back up to the surface. Water dripped from his hair and nose, even his lashes. Bokuto jumps in too. The water isn't that deep; it only covers up to the two males' navels.  “You really didn't want to listen to my story huh?” They both laughed. “I just wanted to feel the water, who knows it might be my last time at the beach” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“AKAAASH, don't be like thaaat” Bokuto screams while pouting with his entire body, even his hair expressed his current emotion, which he knew  Akaashi admired or at least found entertaining whenever he did that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't be sorry, are you cold?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool”......</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It was quiet. Except for the soft sound of the almost nonexisting waves slamming against the wooden legs of the dock behind them. The sun was setting, which reminded Bokuto of the many hours he had spun with Akaashi on his hospital bed, and looked at how beautiful he looked in the orange colors of the sleepy sun. This time it was different, it was straight out of a fairytale. Now everything around them was reflecting in the water, The blue turquoise water had turned orange and yellow, and on top of that, the boy in front of him looked transparent in this environment. His waves had curled up into tiny wet curls, and for the first time in months, his face looked relaxed. Akaashi caught him staring. He smirked a devilish grin. “ Like what you see,” He said while lifting an eyebrow.. “ha ha” Bokuto was num. his mouth was usually a non-stop talking machine, but now it had failed him. Akaashi walked towards Bokuto. Causing small waves to form around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped leaving the tiniest gap between the two males. Bokuto's eyes were still pierced onto the younger males face. And time stopped like this. The noisy bird went quiet, and the waves stopped slamming into their torsos. If there was a god, this boy would be his most perfect masterpiece. Everything about Akaashi from his calm and kind personality to the weird and awkward jokes he made, also his beautiful scared body that had been kissed with trauma and illness was an absolute masterpiece, that only God can create, he admired Akaashi, but didn't feel jealous. Akaashi placed his palm on Bokitos chest. And Bokuto went back to reality, The birds began chirping again and the waves came back even stronger, but still not enough to make him lose his balance. Even the wind started blowing hard and sudden. Making Akaashis hair blow in the air. “A-aka” Bokuto swallowed a lump of a salvia mouth open “It's not like that” Bokuto managed to say, still feeling paralyzed. “i uhm- I'm- i mean it's not like that..i don't like'' -” Men” Akaashi finished Bokuto's sentence with a horrible fake plastic smile on his face. “ I know Bokuto-san”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Oh sorry i thought you were flirting, or trying, - i mean” Akaashi went quiet “I wasn't flirting, but i do like you...a lot”. This was the second time on the same day Bokuto experienced time stopping. But this time it felt horribly wrong. He wanted to run. Akaashi removed his hand from Bokuto's chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh” was all he could say. still, paralyzed by Akaashi’s poison, or was it his own?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean you are really kind, but that's gay Akaashi”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it gay, i fancy you, you idiot” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was the first time he had seen Akaashi with so much emotion on his face. He wished he could go back 3 minutes in time. Back where he was still admiring his male friend in a hetrosexual way. But now he knew could never look at Akaashi the same again. From now on there will always be unresolved tension, of Akaashi unrequited love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let's go back, it's getting cold” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when they were back on the beach, Bokuto glared one last time back at the horizon. The sun had been covered by a black cloud. The water looked black and cold. And a herd of birds was flying above the sun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive back was quiet.  Akaashi stared out the window. He was still not wearing a shirt, only a towel wrapped around his shoulders and his wet bathing suit. Bokuto barely dared to breathe and focused on the road. The sky was now dark blue, and you could hear the quiet sound of summer outside of the car. The tension in the car was unbearable, to be honest Bokuto really just wanted to jump out of the car. Their friendship had died, murdered by the beautiful beach only 30 minutes ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“look Kashi” Bokuto said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn't react, he kept his entire body placed far away from the center of the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he was about to open his mouth again, Akaashi twisted his upper body towards Bokuto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Were you only friends with me because I'm dying”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi's face had become ugly and wet. Eyes pouring with tiny pearl tears, red around every corner in his face, it looked awfully painful, and like that those emotions mirrored onto bokuto. That was the curse of Akaashi Keiji, whatever he felt always reflected onto Bokuto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gosh Kaashi i could never” His throat became shallow and his tongue became a cement block, blocking all the things he wanted to say to Akaashi. He didn't want to see him cry like that, and definitely not because of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like you for who you are, don't let your mind trick you into thinking otherwise, please.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi brows turned downwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you even hear yourself, it sounds like you're confessing” Akaashi said, loud,really loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you keep torturing me like this”- His voice was cracking and filled with drowned pain, Bokuto felt ashamed and hated himself for causing those horrible sounds- ”WHY are you treating me like”- he paused-” I should never have let you in.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto felt his heart shattered into million pieces, impossible to ever be sorted back into a working heart. Cliche.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do care about you...A lot”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi Smiled “I know you do”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry for being dramatic, it's out of character,” He said while wiping away dry tears. He had completely stopped crying, which was way worse than when he was. Normally Akaashi was the one to comfort Bokuto, but when it was finally his turn to comfort his best friend he failed big time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate this”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Bokuto didn't visit Akaashi. The witch made Akaashi more than happy because he had probably gotten </span>
  <span>cystitis from the cold water. So he looked like shit, and on top of that, he wasn't sure if he</span>
  <span> could ever look Bokuto in the eyes after being a little girl when he got rejected by his straight best friend. Even worse than that he had ruined his friendship with Bokuto and even made him cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a visitor,” The nurse in front of the hospital bed said. That he hadn't noticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart began hammering so hard I felt like  it was breaking through his thin layer of skin. IS Bokuto coming back to visit him just to tell him he is an awfully disgusting gay person that deserves nothing. Or was he back to tell him that he never wants to be friends again. Either way, he didn't really care, he just wanted those familiar eyes honey warm to look at him again without tears or pity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello Akaashi”. It wasn't Bokuto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't have to look so disappointed,” Konoha said.  Akaashi wasn't disappointed to see Konoha, and Konoha hopefully knew that. “Don't think that, I'm not pleased to see a familiar face again, It's been a while” Akaashi managed to throw on a fake smile. Konoha saw right through him. “Did something happen-'' He looked upwards avoiding Akaashis eyes-” Besides everything of course” Konoha didn't make any sense, Akaashi thought. Unless it really was that obvious that he had been crying for the past 48 hours. “You look exhausted,”  Akaashi raised his eyebrows, he didn't think his old teammate had come all the way to visit him ,just so he could roast him. “Of course you look exhausted I'm sorry”. Konoha and Akaashi sighed at the same time. Akaashi knew it wasn't Konoha's intention to be rude, but he really wasn't in the mood to put on a brave face right now. “I went to the beach the other day, and I spent too long in the water”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Oh, is that why  you haven't answered my texts lately”. No, he thought, that wasn't the reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”No”. Konoha sat down next to Akaashis hospital bed. “I somehow managed to confess without words,  to an important person, i think they might hate me now”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Konoha smirked. “So you're just heartbroken?” He teased, and it felt nice, it felt like old days, when everyone on the team would tease each other in a gentle non-harmful way. Akaashi nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did they say” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn't know what to say to Konoha, because he couldn't really remember. He just knew the answer was ´No’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's he is straight, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked at his friend in surprise. He hadn't told Konoha about him having a male crush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, so it is a he? i don't care if it is, you should know that”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi ended up talking with Konoha for the rest of the evening, they both avoided the sensitive topic, being Bokuto Koutarou.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night Akaashi was exhausted as he was drifting off to sleep and heard a bling from his phone. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Ko:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi felt his heart shrink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ko:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanna talk for a bit?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited in the darkness. He was nervous and already on the edge of a mental breakdown of just the thought, of what Bokuto wanted to talk about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, Bokuto's name displayed on his phone. He could easily ignore the call. But that was impossible at this point. He answered</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was quiet. none of them said anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence continued for 5 minutes none of them dared to say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I'm really tired can you call another time” Akaashi forced himself to say</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, goodnight Akaashi”.  Bokuto answered on the other end of the line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was official, Akaashi had had the worst week of his life. Usually, the conversations between him and Bokuto were awkward, but this call tops the list.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to go to sleep that night,  but it didn't really work, so he ended up staying up all night listening to his ´Music for Ko` playlist.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
----</p><p>
  <span>It had been a week since the last time he had spoken with Akaashi over the phone. Akaashi clearly didn't want to speak with him that night. They hadn't texted or talked even once the entire week. So Bokuto had been spending a lot of time in the gym, practicing until he was almost benched at the next practice game. “You need to relax” the entire team had told him on repeat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe that was for the best, being banished from a game because ever since that day all he could think about was Akaashi, way more than he already did. Now was just in a different way. The type of way he knew he shouldn't. Like how soft Akaashis palm felt against his chest, and how much he wanted to comfort Akaashi with a hug that day and act like nothing ever happened. He shouldn't be thinking about that, he should be thinking about him breaking his best friend's heart and needed to apologize, or maybe even the fact that he had been scouted by a professional team, and was this close to pursuing his only dreams.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One night when his entire family was sleeping he went online. He hid under his blanket as he was shyly searching up the forbidden side, even more, forbidden was what category he searched on it. He didn't like what he was seeing at first. NOt that it was as disgusting, as people had told him. He stumbled across a video titled “Married couple.”  He kept watching for a while. HE still didn't like it, but it wasn't bad. He even thought it was cute how they would hold hands, and encouraging each other like it was a natural ritual of love, which it was. He just had not imagined being that thrilling, or even kinda beautiful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He closed his phone, feeling the shame hit him like a bullet through the head. He wasn't interested in having sex with any males. Not even Akaashi. He ended up convincing himself that it was so he could understand Akaashi.  And become better friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day he went to the park since it was Sunday, and his captain strongly recommended for him to relax, so he was going for a quick jock. He ran  to the park with the </span>
  <span>hyacinths. It was a big park, he could barely remember where they were. Among the Autumn themed park, he noticed that a big part of the park had been fenced. Behind the fence was a construction site. They were building a pair of high-rise buildings. He couldn't find the flowers, but they would probably also be gone by now since it's October, and almost half a year ago, he went here with Akaashi. It hurt thinking back at the cherishable memory. He tried to not think about Akaashi but it was impossible, and it scared him every time he found himself thinking of the boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So without realising it, his feet carried him towards the hospital.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>----</p><p>
  <span>“HEY, Hey, HEY” Akaashi heard from the door. Finally, he thought. Finally, he could talk with Bokuto again, maybe even go back to normal. The tall boy stood in front of his bed. He looked just as nervous as Akaashi felt. They had been apart for the longest time since they became friends.  Still, he smiled at the sight of Bokuto. He missed him, he didn't care if Bokuto hated him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey” Akaashi managed to say. The word fighting its way up to his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Wow you look like shit,” Bokuto said with worried eyes. “NO-NOT LIKE ACTUAL SHIT, you just look.. different” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ouch. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that just like Konoha, that Bokuto didn't mean any harm. But he couldn't help but feel insecure by his comment. He already knew it was going downhill, judging from the way the nurse frowned every time she saw him, or the way his mother never made physical contact when she visited, if she even visited, lately she hasn't been visiting that much. It hurt a lot especially since Bokuto stopped coming around. He needed support from his mother. His mother has always been weak, even before Akaashi got sick himself, and he was always the one to comfort her whenever she was feeling heartache or when she struggled to socialize. So her avoiding her dying son didn't seem unnatural, but it still hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you''. Akaashi doesn't feel embarrassed saying it, because it's a simple truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto's eyes glow. He smiles and jumps towards the hospital bed attacking Akaashi with a huge and warm hug. “Me too, me too, I missed you so much,” He says as he is hugging Akaashi on top of him. He buries his head in Akaashis's chest. “I'm so sorry for not visiting, I just thought you hated me or something.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looks down at Bokuto who's still straddling his torso, with tears in his eyes. Bokuto reminded him of his mother in some way. “Why would i hate you?” Akaashi said, raising one of his eyebrows, still looking at Bokuto who's just holding him tighter and tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto seats himself on the chair next to the hospital bed. “Because I'm a meanie”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi can't help but stare at Bokuto. He didn't look very attractive himself, his hair wasn't spiked as usual, and weirdly enough that just made the tri-colored hair look greasy and filthy. He was placed weirdly in the chair. Tripping his leg and fiddling with his fingers just like Akaashi does whenever he's feeling cramped or feeling some sort of anxiety. “I thought- actually you despised me”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto immediately looks at Akaashi, but still avoids his eyes. “NOOO, I would never hate you Akaashi, I promise.”.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi is laying on the bed. He looks worse than he ever has. It hurts looking at him. As Bokuto was on his way out of the door he made eye contact with Akaashi for the first time probably during the whole visit. His eyes had not changed at all, his eyes were the last thing on Akaashis's body that hadn't changed. He immediately regretted not having made eye contact earlier. It's like looking at Akaashi for the first time again those many months ago, where he was just a new student in a bus looking for an empty seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He will never forget Akaashi, and he hates himself for getting so addicted to a limited edition. “Do you have anything you would like to tell me, before you leave Bokuto-san?”. He had been staring at Akaashi for a long time, but did he have anything to say to him? Like how he wanted to hug him again, or the fact that he had been feeling awful ever since the last time they had seen each other. Maybe even that the thought of him hating him had made him go crazy. And he never stopped thinking about his best friend. “No, goodnight ´Kaashi”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>“Good night Koutarou”</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are now talking with 29-year-old Koutarou Bokuto, the ace of the national Japanese volleyball team, who has just won a silver medal in this year's Olympics.  Bokuto how are you feeling right now?” Bokuto was staring into the camera lens now pointing towards his face, and a fluffy microphone stuffed into his face. He barely understood a word the foreign woman was saying. He was standing outside the stadium he had just played in. It was big news that their team had even made it past their first game. “She's asking about how you are feeling right now.” Says Sara. Bokuto smiles. He places an arm over the shoulders of Sara. He smiles at the lady with the microphone, with a tight velvet dress and blond greyish hair. He looks into the line “This is only the beginning, and I have never felt better, in 4 years we will be back claiming the golden price”.  A man behind the lady translates quietly in her ear. She nods “You guys had an extremely impressive concentration during the entire game, it's nerve-wracking to watch, what do you think about while playing like that”. Sara translates still having Bokuto's arm around her shoulders. “You don't think, that's all, you can't feel the pain in your stomach or when your legs grow heavy,” Bokuto says. It's the truth. But he can't help not to think about that one time in the game where everyone thought they had lost. He thought about an old friend. A friend he hadn't seen since his second year of college, and suddenly the game turned.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>English is obviously not my first language, so i beg you for critique and help on my grammar !!!&lt;33&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>